Intangible
by MasterVash
Summary: KotOR. Carth goes on a bit of a spice trip, thanks to Canderous, and puts himself in danger. FemRevxCarth Reviews are appreciated.
1. Part 1

**Note: This is just a 3 part story by the way. ;)**

Elara leaned against the opening of the Ebon Hawks loading ramp, arms folded, silently gazing at the bereaved pilot. For an hour, she had been watching him standing against the rail of the spaceport mulling over old memories both priceless and painful. It was just two hours ago he had revealed to her the reasons of his mistrust and hatred, he had lost everything to the Sith; his home and his family. She had been totally taken off guard when he spoke of his past to her, Carth had a wife and son, once, but now he had nothing. _That explains all the paranoia issues._ She felt for him so badly, such a horrible fate should have never been lavished upon such a kind hearted, beautiful man, she just wanted to make his pain disappear.

Elara had remained with him when he had told her, making sure she was there for him, but there was only so much she could do and Bastila calling for her assistance didn't make matters any better. _Worse possible time princess_ Deciding he that might want time by himself she didn't return back to stand beside him, instead she stood silently watching him grieve.

A soft, cool breeze hit her as she wiped the tears falling sympathetically down her face, leaving her cheeks cold. Her thought was broken at the sound of a young, whining voice calling her from the main hold of the ship.

"Lara!" Mission yelled, "C'mon Lara! We can't be late!"

Elara sighed in annoyance as she remembered she was supposed to be getting ready for the celebration in the Wookie village. A celebration was to be held in their honour, for helping the Wookie's rid their village of Czerka slavers.

"Yeah Mish, I'm ready," She yelled back, "Get the others out here in 5, then we'll go."

Elara heard an exaggerated 'finally' echo through the ship and rolled her eyes. Taking a deep breath, she started to make her way down the ramp towards Carth.

"Uh, hey flyboy," she started softly, "if you're not feeling up to it, you can stay behind tonight."

Carth managed a sigh and ran his hand through his thick, brown hair and turned to face Elara, his voice was just barely a whisper. "No, it's fine. I'll go." He tried to muster a weak, appreciative smile, "Thanks though."

Elara glistened a warm smile in return and lightly squeezed his shoulder reassuringly; she was so proud of him and admired his strength to keep going after everything had been ripped from him so harshly. At that moment a deep, gruff voice boomed towards them.

"Can we go get drunk now?"

Elara smiled and clapped her hands, pointing toward the village.

"Yep! C'mon everyone lets go get drunk and enjoy ourselves." She followed Canderous down the walkway with the rest of the crew hot at her heels. Quickly she stole a glance at Carth, she hoped tonight would cheer him up a bit… her too.

Elara glanced around the room a little surprised, she never would have thought the Wookies were the 'partying' type, now matter how… _different_ from a normal party you would find on Coruscant it was, the Wookies sure knew their stuff.

Taking a moment to scan the room to see where her crew was at, the biggest crowd that was drawing the most interest caught her attention. She spotted Juhani with her back arched attempting to make her way underneath a long stick which a Wookie on each side was holding up, trying not to touch it as a young Mission bounced up and down excitedly, encouraging her.

Smiling, she diverted her gaze searching the room for Bastila and their newest addition to the crew, Jolee, an old hermit who wasn't exactly 'friends forever' with the Jedi council. Elara found the two Jedi seated at the end of the mammoth sized banquet table, engrossed in deep conversation and oblivious to anyone around them.

That left Carth, Canderous and herself seated up the other end of the banquet table, enduring rounds of pazaak and playing for credits none of them even had, they were enjoying themselves… and that's what mattered. Canderous had gotten up to use the fresher, which left her and an uncharacteristically cheerful Carth. She'd noticed that his mood had lightened over the night immensely, she was glad… but it also scared her. It was probably just the alcohol taking effect, as they all had a heap to drink, but Carth seemed to be in exceptionally elated spirits, considering his previous state.

Apart from his unusual heightened mood, she noticed he'd been staring at her since Canderous left, not that she had a problem with it mind you but she was picking up unusual waves of emotion through him from the force.

Blushing at the silent moment of attention she was receiving, Elara shifted in her seat uncomfortably, suddenly extremely interested in her glass of ale. Finally Carth spoke, still gazing at her curiously.

"Thank you"

She looked up at Carth, confused by his sudden choice of words. "Uh, for what?"

"For staying with me before, listening to me and helping me… for everything." Elara was taken aback by Carth's confession, but could see the seriousness on his face.

"You don't have to thank me Carth, you're my friend… probably even my _best_ friend, ignoring how corny that sounds and you can always count on me." She said blushing, it was true though she couldn't remember even having any really close friends, he was kinda the first.

Carth smiled at that and it lightened Elara's world. "Oh, that reminds me, I'll be right back." As he got up he leaned down and gently brushed his lips on her cheek and made his way out of the room leaving a dazed Elara blankly staring at the door he'd just retreated from.

With a big grin plastered across her face, Elara sat merrily watching the Wookies and her crew enjoy themselves some more. After 15 elated minutes of waiting she heard someone approach behind her, sensing through the force it was Canderous she turned around to face him and saw… was that _worry_ on his face? Before she even got the chance to speak, he beat her to it, his voice low and almost a whisper.

"Where's Republic?"

"He went to the Hawk to get something." She raised her eyebrows in suspicion, "Why?"

"Alone?!" Canderous's booming voice rose causing Elara to jump, although it took not even a second for her to return back to her cocky self.

"Oh of course not," She started sarcastically, "He's in the back putting on his 'big boy' leash. Of course he's alone! He's not a fracking baby!"

Elara could feel the tension and worry coming off Canderous and it was _really_ starting to scare her. This was a man who was as hard as a Wraid's backside, and here he was 'worried' that another grown man he disliked was all alone?

The Mandalorian started to storm out of the door when Elara called after him over the music and voices of the party, "Where are you going now?"

"To go _get_ something." He replied mockingly as he stormed his way out the doors hurriedly.

Inhaling deeply to catch her breath, Elara kept a quickened pace alongside the Mandalorian stepping in time with his heavy footsteps.

"Canderous," She panted, "t-tell me what's going on."

"Nothing you need to concern yourself with," he said as he rounded the corner, "Why don't you go back to the party, eh?"

Elara stopped in front of him causing his footsteps to cease, folding her arms squarely over chest in that charming, intimidating way of hers, she looked Canderous in the eye and her voice was hard as steel and ice cold.

"You tell me what the frack is going on right now Ordo, or I swear I will put you in Stasis and through you over the edge of this walkway."

Shocked, he raised his eyebrows in disbelief; she was tough he gave her that, the true image of what Mandalorian women should be. He blinked and muttered under his breath, "You looked so sweet and innocent too."

"Ordo." She warned.

"Well, either way if I do or don't tell you, you're gonna be pissed," he said blankly, "but you have to believe me when I say it was for his own go-" Canderous stopped in mid sentence, mouth hanging open and staring incredulously right past Elara. She followed his gaze and her eyes rested on a sight that nearly knocked the wind out of her, causing her heart to race in a bliss of panic.

On top of the Ebon Hawk was Carth, who what looked to be jumping around playing the air guitar. Elara's mouth hung open, all she could do was just stare at him, force knows how he got up there and why. Blinking a few times she finally managed to turn her head towards Canderous who was still staring at the pilot.

"_Shab_" He said.

"Yeah, _Shab_ Canderous! _Our_ pilot is on top of _our_ ship, looking like a complete _di'kut_ and is seconds away from potentially harming himself!" She raised her eyebrows, her face furious, "Anything you want to tell me?"

Canderous chewed his bottom lip. "Look, I may have added a little something into his drink tonight, just to cheer him up a bit… no big deal."

"No big deal?! Carth is-"Elara stopped at the sound of Carth's drunk, mystified voice starting to sing a really bad rock song, while playing an invisible guitar, whatever was going on in that head of his it certainly wasn't natural.

Elara started running up to the Hawk, her spine tingling every time Carth jumped near the edge of the ship, she had to get him down before he killed himself.

"Uh, Carth?! You should really think about coming down from there."

Carth's bad singing stopped but he continued to hack at the air with his eyes closed, not helping Elara's nerves.

"Y'know Lara, I wanna be a rock star!" His words starting to slur, he was acting like a child! Elara frowned; there was no way she was going to get him to listen to her.

"ONASI! Get your arse down here right now!!" She yelled, ignoring the sound of Canderous snickering behind her.

"Bet you Jedi can't top this!" He yelled, as he leaped off the Ebon Hawk;  
Elara's eyes nearly fell out of her head.

"CARTH!!!" She screamed, and her reflexes kicked in immediately as she called upon the force to slow down his fall as he made contact with the hard, wooden ground and started convulsing, his body jerking up and down and shaking violently.

The moment Elara wrapped her arms around him; a force connected her with him preventing her from pulling away. She could feel the second hand pain washing through her body, causing tears to stream down her face. Fierce, intense broken up memories ran flashed through her mind, she could see explosions and death everywhere, there was a slender, crumpled body wedged under immense amounts of rubble covered in dark, crimson coloured blood. These were Carth's memories of Telos, it was horrific and painful, and she wanted it to stop so badly the pain was becoming unbearable. Then, a final agonizing, intense pain shot through her body, releasing her from the nightmare, as she fell back onto the ground, and could see through blurred vision, Bastila rushing towards the two of them just before passing out.


	2. Part 2

**Part 2**

Elara opened her eyes and was greeted with a minor headache; her vision was only a tad blurred as she rolled to her side. An enormous blue blur jumping in front of her made her jolt back shocked, her eyes cleared in her sudden panic and realising it was Mission she relaxed and rested her head against the wall.

"Lara! Hey Canderous, she's awake." Mission sounded distant and muffled.

"Ugh, my head. Where am I?"

Smiling, Mission jumped onto the bed wrapping her arms tightly around Elara's torso. "You're in your bunk on the Hawk. How are you feeling?"

_Carth!_ Elara's mind ran wild, her eyes grew wider and before she even spoke the twi lek answered her unasked question. "Carth is fine, so Bastila says anyway, she won't let me in the med bay so she asked me to watch over you."

Elara smiled appreciatively at the girl, and belatedly returned her embrace. The second she pulled away Canderous strolled through the door and in a quick flash Elara jumped off the bed and flew into him, knocking the Mandalorian to the ground. She pinned him down on his stomach, legs either side of him and twisted his right arm, his fighting arm, behind his back and leant in so close to his face her lips were brushing against his right ear.

"If you _ever_ pull something like that again, I will kill you." She hissed, "Understand?"

The Mandalorian nodded in response and Elara got up off him turning towards her bunk to see a shocked Mission whose eyes were wide as Tatooine. Guilt struck the Jedi when she realised she scared the young girl, but to her surprise Mission just grinned and laughed. Elara sighed in relief and made her way out the dorm towards the med bay, Mission's laughter followed her, echoing down the corridor followed by angry grunts from Canderous.

As Elara entered the Main Hold the musty, metallic scent of blood jolted her senses and immediately alarm bells started ringing in her mind. Her eyes quickly scanned the room and rested on Juhani slicing fresh meat. Sighing in relief she made her way towards the Cathar who noticed her and grinned happily.

"Good to zee you are okay Lara. How are you feeling?"

"Just a minor headache, nothing major, thanks. Hey where's Carth?"

"Med bay, Jolee and Bastila are watching over him." she smiled.

Elara gave an appreciative nod as she walked off, stopping for a second and turned to face Juhani again. "Um…By the way, what _is_ that?" She asked, eyeing the meat.

The Cathar smiled proudly waving the knife in the air, "It iz Nerf Steak. I have offered to cook ze meal for lunch."

Elara had been the 'designated' cook since they had landed on Kashyykk, with the occasional help from Mission, she was glad she didn't have to cook this time.

"Thanks." She said before walking off again.

Elara approached the med bay but it was closed, she carefully knocked and immediately the door swooshed open revealing Bastila, Jolee and Carth who was throwing up over the side of the bed. Bastila started fretting immediately when she saw Elara standing at the door.

"Elara! Are you okay?" She asked, taking on the role of over protective mother, "Sit down, you don't look well." The younger woman forced her to the bed, not even giving an opening for protest.

Carth was sitting up now, he looked a complete mess and judging by the way he was looking at her she must have too. He tried giving a smile but it stopped halfway giving him more head pain.

"Jolee, I want to know what happened." Carth croaked. His throat was dry from lack of water, Bastila rushed out of the med bay toward the kitchen.

"You had a bit of a force reaction, per say. Tell me, you've never had the odd spice hit or two before have you son?" Jolee asked.

Carth just stared at the old man with what could be described as; NO-what-the-frack-are-you-on-about-old-man look and shook his head, again stopping because it was causing him pain.

"Well, it was certainly clear enough that you never had last night." Bastila stated, returning with two glasses of water and handing them to Carth and Elara.

"What?" What are you talking about?" Carth asked taking the glass from Bastila.

"What do you remember from last night Carth?" Elara asked carefully.

Carth frowned at the three Jedi, "We were at that Wookie celebration, then I felt tired so I went back to the Hawk to sleep…" He looked at Elara who was just listening patiently waiting for him to continue, neither of them said anything so he went on, "I-I had this nightmare and then I woke up in here with one hell of a headache."

The cramped room was silent until Jolee made his 'humph' noise, known to Elara as his 'Senile Judgement' noise and looked at Carth.

"Really? Well, what _really_ happened was that you had a bit of a spice shot, quite a bit to drink…" Jolee counted on his fingers as he went,"…and as a result you decided to put yourself in danger by jumping around like a neurotic Tach, then off the Hawk which Lara then had to stop you from falling to your death."

Carth's mouth hung open as he just stared at Jolee in disbelief; he turned his head to Elara for confirmation. She just nodded and quickly looked away, Bastila piped into the conversation again before Jolee had another chance to make things awkward once again.

"Carth, you said something about a nightmare?" She asked.

Carth hesitated for a moment before answering, "Uh, i-it wasn't a nightmare. It was actually a memory." He said embarrassed and ashamed. _Nightmare is the right word for it though_, he thought sadly.

Bastila's elegant eyebrows frowned as she thought for a minute then looked at Elara, through the bond she got feelings of sympathy and shame. _She must have seen it too,_ she thought.

"What does it have to do with this?" Carth suddenly said in a defensive tone, jolting Bastila from her thoughts.

"When Elara broke your fall with the force, along with the state you were in, it must have triggered something in your mind for you to see those memories so vividly as well as feeling them." She explained, "Am I right?" Her question was directed at Elara rather than Carth. She looked down again nodding and obviously upset.

"…And when Lara touched Carth, she got full blow of it all." Jolee finished.

Carth quickly panicked snapping his gaze to Elara who was still seated at the end of the bed; she hung her head down and looked sad and sorry. Before he could say anything she rose and left the room. _She saw it all, she felt it all…damn._

"I'm going for a shower before lunch." She said gloomy as she walked off.

"So," Bastila said trying to break the awkwardness, "Are you feeling up to piloting today?"

"What? Uh, yeah I'm fine." Carth kept thinking of the images –and pain- Elara had seen and felt.

"Good, then we can set course for Tatooine after lunch then."

"Yeah." He sounded distracted and distant as he went in search for a fresh set of clothes.


	3. Part 3

**Part 3**

Elara stepped out of the shower feeling refreshed and much more alert than before, she fumbled around for a towel when she noticed her reflection in the mirror. There were cuts on her body that she had received from the Shadowlands, which were opening up and starting to bleed.

"Ugh, that looks attractive." She muttered, applying kolto to the wounds.

Once she was fully dressed she stepped out of the fresher and immediately the heavenly smell of cooked food hit her causing her stomach to rumble. She made her way towards the Main Hold where the intoxicating smell was coming from and saw Carth, Bastila and Jolee seated around the table while Juhani was dishing out the meal.

Elara vacated a seat next to Carth who was prodding at the food with his fork deciding whether or not it was edible, before she could ask how he was holding up three voices filled the room as Canderous, Mission and Zalbaar emerged from the corridor.

"I was just testing a few new strategic moves."

"Yeah, how to strategically lose! Admit it, you just suck Canderous!"

Zalbaar roared at what sounded like a mocking laugh, Canderous sat opposite Carth and Elara could feel him tense up in anger. She glanced at Canderous who was staring at the pilot as though he was challenging him; she then looked at Carth who had the exact same expression just angrier. Both men just ate completely silent and staring. _Great, lets see how long this lasts._ Elara thought.

Twenty minutes passed, everyone had finished their meal and Juhani sat grinning and looking extremely pleased with herself.

"That was beautiful Juhani, thank you." Elara smiled at the Cathar. A chorus of 'thanks' echoed randomly around the table except for Carth who was still staring at Canderous. Elara brought her right foot down on top of his underneath the table causing him to grunt and mumble a 'thanks'.

Everyone started scattering off around the ship to occupy themselves; Mission and Zalbaar went to watch a holovid, Canderous went off toward the garage and Jolee went toward the Med Bay. That left her, Juhani, Bastila and Carth. Bastila offered to help Juhani tidy up and Carth wandered over to sit with Mission and Zalbaar… she noted that. She decided that it'd be best to keep an eye on Carth, she didn't like the look he was giving Canderous and she didn't want to experience it either.

Elara found herself deeply engrossed in Bastila and Juhani's conversation about the Jedi temple on Dantooine and was distracted by the sound of metal clashing on the floor in another room.

"Hey Canderous shut up!" Mission yelled. Everyone just assumed Canderous playing around with his weapons in the garage like he always did and didn't even give it a second thought.

Elara looked over at Carth… well thought she was. He was gone. She had been so engrossed in the discussion she forgot about watching over him. She sat the dish she was cleaning down and quickly made her way to the garage in a panic.

As she rounded the corner she saw a hydro spanner fly past the door then Carth following it. She ran to the doorway and saw the two men both fighting each other topless, hand to hand. She watched as Canderous came flying down on top of Carth who rolled to the side just dodging the punch and bringing his own fist up into the Mandalorian's left cheek.

"Oi!" She yelled running in to stand between the pair. "Stop! STOP IT!" They both stopped and stood either side of Elara sweat running off them and panting.

"What the frack do you think you're both doing?!"

"You nearly got me killed!" Carth roared at Canderous, his anger clearer than day on his face.

"No, _you_ nearly got yourself killed!" The Mandalorian yelled back just as loud. "If you weren't such a Republic Pansy you woulda sucked it in like a real war-"

He was cut off from Carth charging at him with a fist and hitting him squarely in the nose, Elara heard a faint pop of a bone from Canderous.

"THAT'S IT!" Elara screamed as she flicked her palms out either side, restraining the two men in the air with the force.

'Stop struggling…" She rolled her eyes, "… or no one's going anywhere. Now Carth, when I put you down I want you to leave this room immediately."

She brought her left hand down bringing Carth slowly towards the ground; the moment his feet touched down he turned and stalked out of the room without a word. Elara sighed and looked up at Canderous still floating in the air; she closed her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose with her free hand.

"Canderous, you shouldn't have-"

"Hey! _He's_ the one who came in here looking for a fight._He's_ the one who threw the first punch!" He cut in defensively.

"Yeah, but you didn't have to provoke him and wind him up!"

"He challenged _me_! A warrior never backs down from a challenge." He said darkly.

"He's neither a warrior nor a _mando'ad_ Canderous, he's a soldier. That man has seen things that would break even a Jedi's will. Please, I know you were trying to help, but just don't make things more difficult." She said meekly.

Canderous huffed and rolled his eyes in reply.

"I'm going to take that as an 'Okay Lara, I'll stop making things difficult for Carth' alright." She lowered him back down and waved her arm around indicating the tools all over the room. "Get yourself and all this cleaned up."

She turned and walked out stopping only to pick Carth's shirt from the ground and headed straight towards the cockpit.

Elara walked up to the cockpit and leaned against the door. "Carth?" She asked softly.

"I don't want to talk right now Lara." He replied but Elara walked in anyway, placing his shirt on the nearest seat.

"Well that's just too bad Onasi because you're going to." She said demandingly. She walked over and helped him apply the Kolto to his wounds; he flinched when the cuts on his bare chest absorbed the cold antiseptic.

"Thanks." He said pulling away, "Look, I know I shouldn't have _attacked_ Canderous, but I was so angry and I-I just wasn't thinking."

"Well that was obvious." She huffed, "I know you're a little _emotional_ at the moment but Canderous was only trying to help and you know how socially challenged he can be."

"Did you really see it all?"

Elara sighed and dropped herself into the co-pilots chair and running her hand over her face. "Yeah, I did."

"I'm sorry." He whispered.

"Don't be, you're stronger than most Jedi. I'm proud of you Carth, everything's been taken from you yet you still go on facing each day with that painful burden shadowing your every step." She said sympathetically, reaching over to grab his free hand. Reacting to her touch, he looked up at her smiling face and felt tears starting to form on the brim of his eyes. She reminded him so much of Morgana, no one could ever replace his Ana but there could always be room in his heart for two. But right now he wan't ready for that.

The tears started falling down his face and Elara pulled him in to a tender embrace. This man could cry forever in her arms and it would never matter to her, he has earned the right too. As a loyal Republic soldier too much is expected of him; right now he didn't need to be that valiant hero, he just needed to be human.

"It's okay Carth, I'm here… I'll _always_ be here."


End file.
